dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
