ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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