You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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