So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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