The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My liver just broke up with me...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
