i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
