did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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