Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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