my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
