Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
