We're like a lot better than the average bears
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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