I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
