Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We need a shit load of segways right now
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
