So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
