she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
