i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
