We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
