I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
