Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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