ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
