how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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