This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
