dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
