I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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