So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
