The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
