my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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