apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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