I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
