no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
