I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
