is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
