My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
