I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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