i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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