don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
