so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize