The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
