As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
