I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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