I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
