I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
