i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
