it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My liver just had a heart attack.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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