I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize