Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
