normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
