But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize