Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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