Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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