dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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