shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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