gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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