I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
