I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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