So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
