but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
