I just made out with a guy for $7.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
