i wish my penis had a tongue
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
